Thursday, December 9, 2010

Love and Marriage

I thought yesterday was interesting because all day long conversations, e-mails, blogs kept bringing me back to my marriage and reminding me how thankful I am for mine.

Instance #1 - While working at the kids school the Moms started talking about how old they were and how old their kids are. I just sat there silently because I hate when people talk about age...I am always the youngest and I just get tired of hearing it. Needless to say, one friend of mine piped up and said, "Bekah is younger than all of us and she has a daughter in High School" All eyes turned to me as I said, "Well Jason and I were High School sweethearts and got married right after graduation." Then one Mom said, "and your still married?" I looked at her sheepishly and said, "yes, for 15 years now, and I still love him." She started talking about how those high school relationships NEVER last and ALWAYS end in divorce and she couldn't believe we were still married, blah, blah, blah. I hate the way it made it feel to be honest. It's like I was so odd because I was young and married with kids and I still loved my husband. Hmmm

Instance #2 - I read a few blogs online. Some are from people I have never met but somehow I have been pulled into their lives and enjoy reading their blog posts. First blog I pulled up said, "I left my husband" Wow, I thought to myself, I can't believe she left her husband, she just had a baby, they have 5 kids,what did he do, what about her kids?! Questions, judgment, and accusations filled my mind. I thought they were working on their marriage, I thought to myself. I thought they were Christians, once again blah, blah, blah. But I kept reading her post and was moved by her raw emotion and truthfulness as she spoke of her own selfishness and need to be transparent. Along with her post she linked to another blog that makes....

Instance #3 - The blog link was to this site right here. This blog post was from another woman who spoke of how her husband left her. I don't know much about her story, I have never read her blog before but again this woman poured out her heart posted about the pain of her husband leaving her. Very sad.

Instance #4 - I asked my kids to tell me what they were thankful for yesterday for my blog post. I was deeply moved when my oldest daughter said, "I'm thankful I have parents who love each other more than they love me." I'm sure I have posted about this line of thinking somewhere in my blog before and I know it brings up a lot of controversy but I still fully believe that God intends for parents to love one another first and then their children. If Jason and I can't love each other, how are we to show love to our children? Anyway, I do not want to get into a debate over this was just another instance in my day that made me think of my marriage and how blessed I am.

Finally Instance #5 - After posting my blog yesterday I got a little note from a friend of mine saying how much she envied the love I have for my husband and our marriage. WOW, that totally floored me!! Envied my love for my husband, that was a huge compliment!! After this compliment I had to send my hubby a text message and tell him how much I appreciate his love for me and our family and that I love him sooo much! Of course this made him suspicious and he asked why I was buttering him up but after I explained all the things that happened yesterday he understood and said he was glad too and that he loved me too! Awwww! :-)

I do love my husband so much and I am proud to say that we have been married for 15 years but please don't ever put my marriage on a pedestal or think that J and I have it all figured out. We have our ups and downs just like all marriages/couples. I have fought with Jason, I have cried myself to sleep at night, I have even disliked my husband but I think that is normal. All relationships have trials and times where we don't always "like" the other person but what is important is that we work through it. Always communicating, never judging, and always forgiving. It's easy to write those words but a lot harder to live out, especially in the middle of conflict!! Ha!
Anyway, all of that to get to my point...I do have one! Don't take your marriage/relationship for granted! I think it is easy to get complacent in marriage and take our spouses for granted. They are supposed to be our best friend, lover, and confident and I think that sometimes we lose sight of that. I look at these broken relationships and it breaks my heart because I know that these people are hurting. I don't ever want my husband to leave me and I don't plan to ever leave him but the only way I can guarantee that doesn't happen is to be purposeful in my relationship with him. To keep him as my best friend and to work on our relationship daily. I don't want to take our relationship for granted and I want to encourage you to do the same thing! Don't let the one person who means the most to you slip away, don't get complacent, don't ever say, "I didn't know what I had and now it's gone!"