Sunday, February 27, 2011

God Speaks

Philippians 4: 6-9, 13
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

So this is what my sermon at church was about today.

As we came into church we were all given a rock and a pencil, as the service went on we were told to take and write down what we worry about on that rock. After the service we were told to take that rock and throw it into our pond in front of the church....Yeah...sounds easy, yet, not so much.

See, I am worrier! I worry so much I have anxiety issues. I try and try to give it back to Christ and then try and try to take it back! It is an unending struggle that I must fight daily. Most days, I am fine and let God take it, but on the days I don''s not pretty!!

So, on this rock, write what I worry about...what don't I worry about. Before church today I pulled up flight prices for bringing Jason back home this weekend. Prices for this coming weekend were$900, prices for next weekend at least $400. Thank you sky rocketing gas prices! To say I was upset is an understatement. I was so upset that I went into church with a chip on my shoulder. I didn't sing because I wasn't feeling like worshiping. I didn't take communion because I wanted to be angry.

Then the sermon started...stupid, stupid sermon! When he started talking about worry and being anxious, I knew I was in trouble....I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to leave the service and get out of there! A couple of times I thought about taking that stupid rock and throwing it up on the stage just to let everyone know how stupid I thought this all was! No one understands, if all I had to worry about was money maybe it would be okay. If all I had to worry about was some stupid addiction, okay but no, I have to worry about when and how to get my husband home every freaking weekend! No one understands that!

Then the pastor talked about being lonely and how with God we are never lonely. He talked about how worry and being anxious robs us of our joy and will to enjoy the life that God gave us! What the heck? Would this pastor ever stop talking about me?! Me, who never likes to go anywhere anymore, I would rather stay at home and be lonely! Grrrr! I was not a happy camper in church today....yet I never threw my rock on stage and slowly but surely God continued to work on my heart. It hurt, it hurt so much I had to think of other things to keep from sobbing in the middle of church!! I trust God but need to trust Him more! I need God but know I need to want Him more! I want to be with my husband and yet, if I don't ask daily I won't receive! Today was hard my very very hard!

Pray for me, God is moving. He is going to bring Jason back home but I need to be broken first!! Be anxious for nothing Bekah...God hears you and wants to give you rest

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalms

Friday, February 25, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 27

You would think again that this would be an easy post but I have a lot of family members! So how about this one? Me and my always happy, always goofy 13 year old son! I LOVE YOU ETHAN!!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 26

My four kids and their Great Grandma - PRICELESS
16 years married to my best friend - PRICELESS X's 2


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 25

This is a good blog post to sit and reflect on my blessings. You know why? I have lots and lots of favorites days and have had lots and lots of favorite days in my 34 years of life. I loved the day Jason asked me out, I love the day we got married. I loved the day all 4 of our kids were born. I love days I get to spend with Jason. I love family days. I love family celebrations like Birthdays, I love Easter and Christmas, New Years, Halloween, 4th of July. I love it all!! I am blessed to have so many great days I consider being good.
I know I have bad days and when I am having a bad day it can be all consuming!! But, IF todays post can be about one thing, it's that I am blessed!
This picture is from the beach. Jason and I went alone on his 35 Birthday, while the kids were at school. I LOVE going to the beach!! It is so relaxing once we get there, but sometimes I don't want to go through the hassle of getting ready to go and the clean up after we go. Blah! But over all, I am content when I am at the beach and I have had many many good days with my husband, my kids, with friends, with all of them combined, at the beach!! I LOVE THE BEACH!! I love my family and all my days with them, should be favorites! My heart feels full now! <3 Ahhhh!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 24

The distance between my home and Jason's work! It's just too far!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 23

Goodness, whoever created this photo challenge must not know how hard it is to have a picture of ONE of your favorite things! I mean really, I read books all the time. I love reading, I love getting lost in a story and I just really enjoy a good book. So, what is my favorite book?
Right now I am reading this book:

Two of my favorite Authors are these two guys:

Do you know who they are? If you can find me a book by either one of these Authors I can guarantee I have already read the book or I have it on my wish list because it's not out yet! :-) I LOVE reading!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 22

Saying goodbye to Jason at the airport. I don't care how many times we do it, how soon he is coming back, or how long we have been together before he leaves. It still hurts so bad when we say goodbye. I wish I was stronger, I wish I could suck it up (and I do a lot of the time) but I wish I could get a little better at saying goodbye...or better yet, we could stop this saying goodbye bit and just be together again!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Happy Valentines Day

Taking a break to post a Valentine video today!
Since everyone wants to go out on Valentines it is way too crowded and therefore not enjoyable to go out on Valentines night. Jason and I got these recipes off Food Network and made our dinner at home! Everything turned out perfect and the food was restaurant quality made at home!! Not to mention the time we got to spend together making the meal!!
Best Valentines dinner EVER!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 21

Thursday, February 10, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 20

This would be a A LOT easier if it asked where I didn't want to travel VS where I do want to travel. There are soooo many places I would love to go and visit!! I almost fear I want to go to too many to even squeeze it all into my lifetime!!
I have been a lot of places here in the States but would still love to get to New York, San Francisco, and the Napa Valley someday. Maybe even Las Vegas!! :-) I have never been West of Phoenix or Denver so there is a lot of exploring I need to do on that West coast of ours.
But if I am going to dream big it would of course be to lots of Europe!! Greece, Australia, Italy...the list could go on forever!! So many great places go to and so many great places to see!! The art the culture the food and of course the wine!! :-) Here are a few pictures of places I would love to go someday!! :-) I am sure I will get to some of them, just have to be patient and plan.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day Nineteen

Hmmm, this one is sort of vague.
Does it mean a picture and a letter, as in, "Today's blog is brought to you by the Letter J"
Or does it mean, a picture of a letter?

Well, here is my interpretation:
This is a picture of me and my Daddy from when he was here at Thanksgiving time. I love him for everything he is and what he means to me!! He is not someone I would want to piss off and yet he is someone who would let me cry on his shoulder! He is all man, with that respectable sensitive side. Maybe it's because the poor guy had a house full of girls for some so many years, but none the less, I like it!! I like who he is today and who he was to me as a child growing up.
I won't write too much here about my past but lets just say that I have not always made the best of choices. Growing up, I was sort of a brat and thought my parents were fun suckers!! They wouldn't let me date who I wanted, I always had to go to church, I couldn't listen to the music I wanted, blah, blah blah!! (See, they were really awesome parents who loved me so much!!) I know now how much they cared about me!!
One day, I made some really bad choices that ended me in a place that is not pleasant to talk about. In the end, it made me stronger and of course my parents were there to walk me through that valley every step of the way BUT I have always felt that my Dad blamed himself for my behavior. They say a lot of a girls behavior is dependent on her relationship with her Dad. I think other people made my Dad feel like he had dropped the ball somewhere and that if he had been there more or done more I would have made different choices. I have always disagreed with that, I was 16 at the time and was making my own decisions (be it bad ones, but they were mine). I never felt unloved by my Dad and I never felt like anything was more important to him other than family. I have always wanted to write him a letter and tell him that but I just haven't taken the time to sit down and do it. Well, today is the day!! I am going to take that pen and paper and write my Daddy a letter. So here we go....
A picture of my Daddy and a letter!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day 18

Wow, what is up with this picture challenge? My biggest insecurity, where aren't I insecure?! I am insecure about who I am as a lover, as a mother, in my beauty. Where does it end? I don't know? Not liking today at all! Hmph! No picture today, tomorrow better be better!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day Seventeen

Okay, I am really stumped by this one....something or someone that has made a huge impact in my life recently? Can't say I can think of one. Not sure if this is a bad thing but....I've got nothing. Sometimes it takes all I am to just make it through the week and be the Mom, wife, daughter, and lover that I am.
God is always there and some days I hear Him better than other, even though I know He never leaves my side! If anyone makes an impact on me it's God. When I listen, He can do more with me than anyone or anything! :-)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day Sixteen

Who better to inspire me than my own 4 kids!! They are my greatest Happiness and sometimes sadness. They can lift me up and they can bring me down. But at the end of they day, we always love each other!! They are so brilliant and get good grades, I tell them all the time that they can be anything they want to be someday!! So, if I tell my kids that, I have to believe the same to be true for myself!! I can do anything and I know I will always have them (and their father) to cheer me on and keep me going!! They are inspiring!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

30 day picture challenge

Day Fifteen

It is hard to get a picture of this but I want to do a wine tour somewhere in Europe before I die. There are so many places I would love to go but even one place would be great! Italy would be near the top of my list along with Germany.
I do not like Australian wines (I don't know why but I just haven't found one I like and I know Australia is not in Europe, I am just talking places now! :-).
Argentina would be cool too because there are a lot of good Malbecs from there.
Even a wine tour in California would be awesome!!
I think you get it, before I die I want to tour a wine country, be it domestic or abroad, European or not, I want to experience it! :-)