Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Desire and Respect

Getting ready this morning I decided to put on my "fat jeans", you know the pair you wear when you just feel bloated and fat! I put them on and much to my chagrin, my "fat jeans" really make me look fat! I should be happy that they no longer cling to my hips and hold in my tummy because that means my "fat jeans" are too big but instead I started to dwell on the negative and belittle the person staring back at me in the mirror. It really is a self-destructive path I was on and why? I have lost weight and no long fit into my "fat jeans"...but I just couldn't let go of the way the baggy butt and pooched stomach looked in those jeans and I really didn't want to put on the jeans that I knew made me look good!
I asked myself, "what is your problem?"
The joker inside of me said, "you haven't had sex in over a week, you are feeling undesirable" That is when this blog popped into mind...
See, there is nothing in this world that makes me feel more beautiful than when my husband is desiring me. Desiring to touch me, hold me, and be with me. It doesn't always have to be a Sexual Desire, just knowing his desire is for me does more for my self esteem any pair of jeans could ever do! Just yesterday my husband sent me a text and it said, "I want you to know that you are my priority and I love you very much!" No reason, just wanted to let me know he was thinking of me. Every part of my body went Ahhhhh, when I read that comment. It made me feel desired and important!
At home with 4 kids all the time, the last thing I feel is desirable. Oh, I know those 4 kids need me but sometimes it feels like they need me as more of a doormat. I am not trying to say bad things about my kids here, its just that they are kids. They are selfish (as they should be at this stage in their lives) and I am the one who is to provide for all their needs. So they need me all the time and I guess you could say they desire for me to fill their wants and needs but it just isn't the same. At the end of the day I feel depleted, sucked dry and empty. When my husband desires me, it leaves me feeling loved, full, and content.
So many people struggle with marriage and I know it is not an easy road to travel but one thing I have learned is this. Men and Woman have 2 basic needs when it comes to marriage and a relationship.
1) Woman want to be desired and 2) Men want to be respected. It really is this simple. When I feel my husband focusing on me and desiring me, I am willing to give him just about anything, including all the love and respect he deserves. When he is feeling respect from me, it is easy for him to desire me and want to be with me. It is a circle that is never ending and can be so rewarding in any relationship.
I am NOT a perfect wife but I do try to go out of my way and never say anything bad about my husband to anyone. He is not perfect and I may not always be happy with what he is doing but at the end of the day, I love him, he is mine, I forgive him and I will always love him. No one else will ever love him the way I do and no one will think anything of him unless I tell them how great he is (which he is, of course!) :-) I get very annoyed when woman talk bad about their husband in front of other people, annoyed and sad!
I don't know where this train of thought is going or what I want to say but if I could just say one thing to any husband out there....DESIRE your wife!! Make her feel beautiful and in return I bet you will be rewarded in ways you never imagined!! And wives, respect your husband, whether talking with your friends or talking with him at home!!
I think I'm going to go take off my "fat jeans" and put on the jeans that I know make me look good because I know that even if J can't see me today, he would find me desirable!! :-)